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Tuhan Memberkati oleh artis Inggris Edmund Leighton, 1900: memperlihatkan ksatria berlapis baja meninggalkan istri/kasih sayang dia untuk perang.

Pacaran (bahasa Inggris: courtship) adalah periode perkenalan antara dua individu sebelum perkawinan yang mungkin. Pacaran secara tradisional dapat dimulai setelah pertunangan dan dapat berakhir dengan perkawinan.[1] Pacaran mungkin hal informal dan privat antara 2 orang atau mungkin hubungan publik, atau berupa perjodohan dengan persetujuan keluarga. Dulu, waktu pertunangan formal, peran pria adalah untuk "merayu" seorang wanita, dan mengajak wanitanya untuk memahami pertimbangan mereka terhadap lamaran perkawinan

Pacaran sebagai praktik sosial adalah fenomena yang relatif baru, dan muncul hanya dalam beberapa abad terakhir ini. Dari pandangan antropologi dan sosiologi, pacaran terkait dengan institusi sosial lain seperti perkawinan dan keluarga yang telah berubah cepat, karena dipengaruhi efek kemajuan teknologi dan kedokteran. Selama masyarakat berevolusi dari pemburu-pengumpul menjadi masyarakat yang beradab, ada banyak perubahan terhadap hubungan antar-orang. Bahkan, imperatif biologis bahwa seorang wanita dan pria harus melakukan persetubuhan untuk prokreasi manusia sedang dilewati oleh fertilisasi dalam vivo.

Courtship is the period wherein some couples get to know each other prior to a possible marriage. Courtship traditionally may begin after a betrothal and may conclude with the celebration of marriage.[1] A courtship may be an informal and private matter between two people or may be a public affair, or a formal arrangement with family approval. Traditionally, in the case of a formal engagement, it is the role of a male to actively "court" or "woo" a female, thus encouraging her to understand him and her receptiveness to a marriage proposal.

Courtship as a social practice is a relatively recent phenomenon, emerging only within the last few centuries. From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology, courtship is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have changed rapidly, having been subject to the effects of advances in technology and medicine. As humans societies have evolved from hunter-gatherers into civilized societies, there have been substantial adjustments in relations between people, with even the remaining biological imperative that a woman and man must have sexual intercourse for human procreation to happen being bypassed by in vivo fertilisation.

Templat:Close Relationships

Bagian dari seri tentang
Cinta
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Jenis-jenis cinta
Segi sosial
Konsep

Durasi

 
"Southern Courtship" by American painter Eastman Johnson (1824–1906)

Durasi rata-rata pacaran agak bervariasi di bagian-bagian dunia. Selain itu, ada banyak variasi individual antara pasangan. Pacaran mungkin tidak ada, seperti kasus beberapa perjodohan dimana pasangannya tidak bertemu sebelum perkawinan.

Di Britania Raya, poll 3.000[2] pasangan telah bertunang/kawin menunjukkan bahwa durasi rata-rata antara pertemuan pertama dan lamaran perkawinan yang disetujui adalah 2 tahun dan 11 bulan,[2][3] dengan wanita merasa siap untuk menyetujui lamaran dalam (rata-rata) 2 tahun dan 7 bulan.[2] Mengenai durasi antara pelamaran dan perkawinan, poll di atas memberikan rata-rata 2 tahun dan 3 bulan.[3]


The average duration of courtship varies considerably throughout the world. Furthermore, there is vast individual variation between couples. Courtship may be completely omitted, as in cases of some arranged marriages where the couple do not meet before the wedding.

In the United Kingdom, a poll of 3,000[2] engaged or married couples resulted in an average duration between first meeting and accepted proposal of marriage of 2 years and 11 months,[2][3] with the women feeling ready to accept at an average of 2 years and 7 months.[2] Regarding duration between proposal and wedding, the UK poll above gave an average of 2 years and 3 months.[3]

Tradisi

Pacarannya agak kasual dalam sebagian besar budaya yang dipengaruhi Eropa, tetapi dalam sebagian masyarakat tradisional, pacaran adalah aktivitas yang sangat terstruktur dengan aturan formal yang sangat spesifik.

Dalam beberapa masyarakat, orangtua atau komunitas mengusulkan pasangan potensial dan kemudian membolehkan pacaran terbatas untuk menentukan apakah pasangannya cocok. Di Jepang, ada jenis pacaran bernama Omiai, dengan praktik yang serupa bernama "Xiangqin" (相親) di Tiongkok Raya.[4] Orangtua menggunakan pencari jodoh untuk memberikan gambar dan résumé pasangan potensial, dan apabila pasangan setuju, akan ada pertemuan formal yang dihadiri pencari jodoh dan seringkali orangtua.[4] Pencari jodooh dan orangtua sering menekan pasangan untuk menentukan apakah mereka ingin menikah setelah beberapa kencan.

Pacaran di Filipina adalah jenis kompleks pacaran. Tidak seperti masyarakat lain, pacaran di sana jauh lebih lembut dan tidak langsung.[5] Dalam pacarannya ada tahapan, dan pacaran yang berlangsung selama setahun atau lebih dianggap normal. Pria umum mengirim surat dan puisi cinta, menyanyikan lagu romantis, dan membeli hadiah untuk wanita. Orangtuanya juga dipandang sebagai bagian dari praktik pacaran, karena persetujuan mereka umum diperlukan sebelum pacaran dapat dimulai atau sebelum wanita memberikan pria jawaban kepada rayuan dia.[5]

Dalam masyarakat yang lebih tertutup, pacaran hampir dieliminasikan oleh praktik perjodohan[4] dimana pasangan dipilih untuk orang muda, biasanya oleh orangtua mereka. Melarang pacaran eksperimental dan serial dan hanya menyetujui perjodohan sebagian berupa cara menjaga kesucian orang muda dan sebagian berupa cara memajukan keinginan keluarga, yang mungkin dianggap lebih penting daripada preferensi romantis individual.[6]

Sepanjang sejarah, pacaran sering termasuk tradisi seperti menukarkan valentine, korespondensi tertulis (difasilitaskan oleh pembuatan layanan pos pada abad ke-19), dan tradisi berbasis komunikasi lain.[7] Tetapi selama beberapa dekade terakhir ini, konsep perjodohan telah berubah atau tercampur dengan jenis kencan lain, termasuk di dunia Timur dan India. Pasangan potensial memiliki keempatan bertemu dan berkencacn satu sama lain sebelum menentukan apakah ingin melanjutkan hubungan mereka.

The date is fairly casual in most European-influenced cultures, but in some traditional societies, courtship is a highly structured activity with very specific formal rules.

In some societies, the parents or community propose potential partners and then allow limited dating to determine whether the parties are suited. In Japan, there is such a type of courtship called Omiai, with similar practices called "Xiangqin" (相親) in the Greater China Area.[4] Parents will hire a matchmaker to provide pictures and résumés of potential mates, and if the couple agrees, there will be a formal meeting with the matchmaker and often parents in attendance.[4] The matchmaker and parents will often exert pressure on the couple to decide whether they want to marry after a few dates.

Courtship in the Philippines is one complex form of courtship. Unlike other societies, it takes a far more subdued and indirect approach.[5] Its complexity involves stages, and it is considered normal for courtship to last a year or longer. It is common to see a man showing off by sending love letters and love poems, singing romantic songs, and buying gifts for a woman. The parents are also seen as part of the courtship practice, as their approval is commonly needed before courtship may begin or before the woman gives the man an answer to his advances.[5]

In more closed societies, courtship is virtually eliminated by the practice of arranged marriages[4] in which partners are chosen for young people, typically by their parents. Forbidding experimental and serial courtship and sanctioning only arranged matches is partly a means of guarding the chastity of young people and partly a matter of furthering family interests, which, in such cultures, may be considered more important than individual romantic preferences.[6]

Throughout history, courtship has often included traditions such as exchanging valentines, written correspondence (facilitated by the creation of the postal service in the nineteenth century), and similar communication-based courting.[7] Over recent decades, though, the concept of arranged marriage has changed or simply been mixed with other forms of dating, including Eastern and Indian ones. Potential couples have the opportunity to meet and date each other before deciding whether to continue the relationship.

Orang modern

Artikel utama: Dating

Pada awal 1800-an, orang muda diharapkan berpacaran dengan niat mencari pasangan perkawinan, bukan untuk alasan sosial. Dalam bentuk Kristen tradisional, konsep pacaran tetap ada; periodenya dimulai setelah Ritus Pertunangan dan berakhir dengan perayaan perkawinan.[1][8] Teologis Kristen John Piper membedakan pacaran dari kencan, dan mengajarkan bahwa:[9]

Pacaran biasanya dimulai ketika seorang pria lajang mendekati seorang wanita lajang melalui ayah wanitannya, dan kemudian melaksanakan hubungannya dengan wanita di bawah otoritas ayah, keluarga, atau gereja wanitanya, manapun yang lebih tepat. Pacaran selalu memiliki perkawinan sebagai tujuan langsungnya... Kencan, pendekatan yang lebih modern, dimulai ketika pria/wanita memulai hubungan lebih-daripada-teman dengan pasangannya, dan kemudian mereka melaksanakan hubungannya di luar pengawasan/otoritas apapun. Kencan mungkin memiliki perkawinan sebagai tujuannya.

Menteri Kristen Patricia Bootsma menggambarkan perbedaan ini, dan menulis bahwa dibandingkan dengan gambaran modern kencan, dalam "pacaran, waktu bersama keluarga/teman dianjurkan, dan ada pengawasan dan akuntabilitas oleh orangtua/mentor".[10] Dia terus mengatakan bahwa dengan pacaran, "komitmen terjadi sebelum keintiman".[10]

Di Amerika, pada 1820-an, kata "date" (kencan) sering dikaitkan dengan prostitusi. Tetapi, pada Era Jaz 1920-an, berkencan untuk bersenang-senang menjadi harapan budaya, dan pada 1930-an, orang muda populer apapun diasumsikan memiliki kencan yang banyak. Jenis kencan ini biasanya dilakukan di tempat publik, sebelum seks pranikah lebih diterima secara sosial setelah revolusi seksual 1960-an.[11]


In the early 1800s, young adults were expectedTemplat:Where? to court with the intention of finding a marriage partner, rather than for social reasons. In more traditional forms of Christianity, this concept of courtship has been retained, with the period of courtship beginning after the Rite of Betrothal and concluding with the celebration of marriage.[1][8] Christian theologian John Piper distinguished courtship from dating, teaching that:[9]

Courtship ordinarily begins when a single man approaches a single woman by going through the woman's father, and then conducts his relationship with the woman under the authority of her father, family, or church, whichever is most appropriate. Courtship always has marriage as its direct goal... Dating, a more modern approach, begins when either the man or the woman initiates a more-than-friends relationship with the other, and then they conduct that relationship outside of any oversight or authority. Dating may or may not have marriage as its goal.

Christian minister Patricia Bootsma delineates this distinction, writing that in contrast to the modern conception of dating, in "courtship, time together in groups with family or friends is encouraged, and there is oversight by and accountability to parents or mentors".[10] She further states that with courtship, "commitment happens before intimacy".[10]

In America, in the 1820s, the phrase "date" was most closely associated with prostitution. However, by the Jazz Age of the 1920s, dating for fun was becoming a cultural expectation, and by the 1930s, it was assumed that any popular young person would have many dates. This form of dating was usually conducted in public places, before pre-marital sex became more socially acceptable after the sexual revolution in the 1960s.[11]

Pacaran dalam teori sosial

Pacaran digunakan oleh beberapa ahli teori untuk menjelaskan proses jenis kelamin dan identitas seksual. Penelitian ilmiah pacaran dimulai pada 1980-an, setelah itu peneliti akademik mulai mengusulkan teori mengenai praktik dan norma pacaran modern. Peneliti menemukan bahwa, tidak seperti yang dipercaya, pacaran biasanya dipicu dan dikontrol oleh wanita,[12][13][14][15][16] utamanya didorong oleh perilaku non-verbal, yang direspon oleh pria. Salah satu fungsi cinta romantis adalah pacaran.[17]

Ini secara umum didukung oleh ahli teori lain yang berspesialisasi dalam studi bahasa badan.[18] Tetapi ada beberapa sarjana feminis yang menganggap pacaran sebagai proses sosial (yang dipimpin oleh pria) yang diorganisasikan untuk menaklukkan wanita.[19][20] Contohnya, Farrell melaporkan bahwa 98% pembaca majalah perkawinan dan fiksi percintaan adalah wanita.[21] Penelitian sistematis proses pacaran dalam tempat kerja[22] serta 2 studi 10-tahun yang meneliti norma dalam letak internasional yang berbeda[23][24] tetap mendukung pandangan bahwa pacaran adalah proses sosial yang menyosialisasikan kedua jenis kelamin untuk menerima jenis hubungan yang memaksimalkan peluang berhasil membesarkan anak.


Courtship is used by a number of theorists to explain gendering processes and sexual identity. Scientific research into courtship began in the 1980s, after which time academic researchers started to generate theories about modern dating practices and norms. Researchers have found that, contrary to popular beliefs, courtship is normally triggered and controlled by women,[12][13][14][15][16] driven mainly by non-verbal behaviours, to which men respond. One of the functions of romantic love is courtship.[17]

This is generally supported by other theorists who specialise in the study of body language.[18] There are some feminist scholars, however, who regard courtship as a socially constructed (and male-led) process organised to subjugate women.[19][20] Farrell reports, for example, that magazines about marriage and romantic fiction continue to attract a 98% female readership.[21] Systematic research into courtship processes inside the workplace[22] as well two ten-year studies examining norms in different international settings[23][24] continue to support a view that courtship is a social process that socialises both sexes into accepting forms of relationship that maximise the chances of successfully raising children.

Layanan kencan komersial

Selama teknologi semakin maju, cara kencan juga berubah. Dalam Time-line oleh Metro, sebuah bisnis statistik pertunangan dibuka pada 1941, acara kencan TV realita dikembangkan pada 1965, dan pada 1980-an, kencan video diperkenalkan kepada masyarakat.[25] Kencan video adalah sebuah cara untuk orang lajang untuk duduk di depan kamera dan memberi tahu siapapun yang menonton mengenai diri sendiri. Proses eliminasi signifikan karena sekarang pelihat bisa mendengar suara mereka, melihat wajah mereka dan melihat bahasa badan mereka untuk menentukan ketertarikan fisik terhadap kandidatnya.

Dalam kencan online, individu membuat profil yang memperlihatkan informasi personal, foto-foto, hobi, minat, agama dan harapan. Kemudian pengguna dapat mencari ratusan ribu akun dan menghubungi beberapa orang secara bersamaan, yang memberikan pengguna lebih banyak opsi dan kesempatan untuk mencari seseorang yang memenuhi standar mereka. Kencan online telah mempengaruhi ide pilihan. Dalam Modern Romance: An Investigation (Percintaan Modern: Sebuah Investigasi), Aziz Ansari menyatakan bahwa sepertiga perkawinan di Amerika Serikat antar 2005 dan 2012 bertemu melalui layanan kencan online.[26] Sekarang ada ratusan website kencan dan ada juga website untuk keperluan tertentu seperti Match, eHarmony, OkCupid, Zoosk, dan ChristianMingle. Aplikasi mobile, seperti Grindr dan Tinder memungkinkan pengguna mengupload profil yang kemudian dinilai oleh pengguna lain layanan. Dalam profil, pengguna dapat menggeser ke kanan (yang menandakan minat) atau ke kiri (yang memberikan kandidat lain).


As technology progressed the dating world progressed as well. In a Time-line by Metro, a statistic match-making business opened in 1941, the first reality TV dating show was developed in 1965, and by the 1980s the public was introduced to video dating.[25] Video dating was a way for singles to sit in front of a camera and tell whoever may be watching something about themselves. The process of elimination was significant because now the viewer was able hear their voice, see their face and watch their body language to determine a physical attraction to the candidates.

In online dating, individuals create profiles where they disclose personal information, photographs, hobbies, interests, religion and expectations. Then the user can search through hundreds of thousands of accounts and connect with multiple people at once which in return, gives the user more options and more opportunity to find what meets their standards. Online dating has influenced the idea of choice. In Modern Romance: An Investigation, Aziz Ansari states that one third of marriages in the United States between 2005 and 2012 met through online dating services.[26] Today there are hundreds of sites to choose from and websites designed to fit specific needs such as Match, eHarmony, OkCupid, Zoosk, and ChristianMingle. Mobile apps, such as Grindr and Tinder allow users to upload profiles that are then judged by others on the service; one can either swipe right on a profile (indicating interest) or swipe left (which presents another possible mate).

Pada hewan

Informasi lebih lanjut: Kawin, Sistem perkawinan dan Peragaan percumbuan

Banyak spesies hewan memiliki ritual pemilihan pasangan kawin yang juga dikenal sebagagi "pacaran" secara antropomorfis. Pacaran hewan mungkin melibatkan tari yang rumit atau persentuhan, vokalisasi, atau penampilan kecantikan atau kemampuan bertarung. Sebagian besar pacaran hewan tidak terlihat manusia dan oleh karena itu sering menjadi perilaku hewan yang paling kurang didokumentasikan. Salah satu hewan yang memiliki ritual pacaran yang telah dipelajari dengan baik adalah namdur, dimana hewan jantan membangun "punjung" objek terkumpul.

Dari pandangan ilmiah, pacaran hewan adalah proses dimana spesies memilih pasangan mereka untuk tujuan reproduksi. Umumnya hewan jantan memulai pacarannya, dan hewan betina memilih berkawin atau menolak hewan jantannya berdasarkan "performanya".


Many animal species have mate-selection rituals also referred to as "courtship" anthropomorphically. Animal courtship may involve complicated dances or touching, vocalizations, or displays of beauty or fighting prowess. Most animal courtship occurs out of sight of humans and so it is often the least documented of animal behaviors. One animal whose courtship rituals are well studied is the bower bird, whose male builds a "bower" of collected objects.

From the scientific point of view, courtship in the animal kingdom is the process in which the different species select their partners for reproduction purposes. Generally speaking, the male initiates the courtship, and the female chooses to either mate or reject the male based on his "performance".

Penyu

 
Courtship of green turtles

All animals have different courtship rituals that reflect fitness, compatibility with others and ability to provide. Sea turtles court during a limited receptive time. During the courtship males will either nuzzle the females head to show affection or by gently biting the back of her neck.[27] This may go on for long periods of time, depending on whether the female responds to the male. If the female does respond, by not fleeing, the male will attach himself onto the back of the female's shell using his front flippers.[27] He will stretch his long tail under the back of the females shell to begin copulation.

Courting can be competitive among males. The male that has better endurance will win the female. To a female, endurance is a great trait to be passed on to their offspring; the higher the endurance in the male, the higher the endurance will be in her offspring and the more likely they will be to survive.[27] Female leatherback sea turtles will also choose many different males to copulate with in order to diversify their offspring, since it is known that leatherback sea turtles have female-biased offspring.

Kuda nil

Despite being aggressive animals, the female hippopotamus is very nurturing and sensitive when caring for offspring.[28] Mating and birth both occur in the water for hippopotamus. This is because it gives them privacy when conceiving and helps conserve energy during birth. The female hippo normally averages around 5–6 years, while males are average an age of 7–8.[28] During mating season the male hippopotamus will find a mate out of the herd, showing interest by smelling the female's posterior end.[29] As long as the male acts submissive during courting season, the adults in the herd will not interfere. Once the male finds the female he wants to mate with, he begins provoking the female. He then will push the female into the water and mount her. In order to alert the herd or other animals that may be lurking around, the male will let a loud wheezing sound.[29] Preceding birth, the female exhibits aggressive behavior, leaving the herd until after the birth of the calf. Although hippopotamuses can mate anytime of the year, the mating season ranges from February to August. Because the energy cost is high, the female generally only has one offspring in a two-years span.[28]

Lebah madu

The courtship behaviour of honey bees follows through two distinct types: apiary vicinity mating and drone assembly mating.[30] Apiary vicinity mating usually takes place in cool weather and is more local to the apiary from which the queen resides.[30] The drones are in the same apiary too, but this doesn't not mean that it will lead to inbreeding. Drones assemble in a bulb of warm air close or far from the apiary. They are alert when the queen has flown out of the hive and will follow her route. This is followed by a sort of fast hum or buzz in the general bee population that follows an upward temperature gradient.[30] The male drone mounts on the virgin queen and inserts his endophallus, ejaculating semen.[31] The male honey bee will then pull away from the queen, but his endophallus will be ripped from his body and remain attached to the newly fertilized queen. The next male honey bee will remove the endophallus that was previously left by the other male honey bee and will eventually ejaculate and lose his own.[31] The frequency of mating for the male honey bees is 7 to 10 times during a mating flight. Most of the drones die quickly immediately after mating, and their abdomen rips open since the endophallus has been removed.[31] The few that survive are usually ejected from their nests, as they have served their sole purpose by mating.

They only attend one mating flight, and the queen stores up to 100 million sperm within her oviducts during this flight, but only 5–6 million are stored in the spermatheca of the queen.[31] Only a few of this sperm are used by the queen at a time to fertilize the eggs throughout her life. New queen generations will mate and produce their colonies if the queen runs out of sperm in her lifetime. The sex of the offspring is controlled by the honey bee queens, as the eggs passing through the oviduct can be determined whether they are fertilized or not by the queen.[31] Research has indicated that eggs that are fertilized develop into female workers and queens, while the unfertilized eggs become drone honey bees. Female workers can lay infertile eggs but do not mate. The infertile eggs become male honey bees. The eggs of the queen are laid in oval-shaped structural cells that usually stick to the nest ceiling. Royal jelly is then filled with these cells to prevent larvae from falling.[31] Soon-to-be workers are fed royal jelly during the first two days. The future queens are given royal jelly throughout the entire larval period. Each member colony development depends on caste. For proper growth from eggs to adult, the male honey bees need 24 days, 21 for workers and only 16 for the queens.

Insect species

Certain insect species also display courtship behavior in order to attract mates. For example, the species Ceratitis capitata (also known as the medfly) exhibits these behaviors. During the courtship phase, signals are exchanged between males and females to display willingness for mating. The male begins with a series of head movements, then after 1–2 seconds of movement, also begins to fan its wings and moves closer to the female. Once the male is close enough to the female, the male will leap onto the female's back and begin copulation. Another example is seen in the spider species Maratus volans, where the male will perform an elaborate fan dance. The male will open his colorful fan and begin to vibrate in order to draw the attention of the female spider. The male will begin to move closer and closer to the female until copulation.[32]

Allobates femoralis

Allobates femoralis displays courtship behavior through “courtship march,” in which the male begins the courtship and leads the female to the oviposition site.[33] Its behavior also includes visual components, such as throat display, limb lifting, circling, and leg stretching.[33] Among poison frogs, Allobates femoralis’s courtship duration is the longest. Although females rarely reject males nor evaluate the male’s fitness during courtship, they occasionally demand an extended duration of courtship.[34] And while females to not show aggression during courtship, males can interact aggressively with other males in the purpose of territorial defense and competition for female.[33]

See also

References

  1. ^ a b c d Pilip T. Weller (1948). Rite of Betrothal [Ritus Pertunangan]. Society of Saint Pius X. hlm. 2. 
  2. ^ a b c d e f "Average man proposes after three years" (Pria rata-rata melamar setelah 3 tahun), Marie Claire, 18 Februari 2008.
  3. ^ a b c d "Average man takes 3 years to propose" (Pria rata-rata membutuhkan waktu 3 tahun untuk melamar), Metrosexual, Sunday, 17 Februari 2008.
  4. ^ a b c d e f Thelmaw, Ritgerõ (September 2015). "Courtship in Japan and Iceland" [Pacaran di Jepang dan Islandia] (PDF). Diarsipkan dari versi asli (PDF) tanggal 5 Juni 2016. Diakses tanggal 15 Mei 2016. 
  5. ^ a b c d "COURTSHIP IN PHILIPPINE CULTURE" [PACARAN DALAM BUDAYA FILIPINA]. www.phrasebase.com. Diarsipkan dari versi asli tanggal 19 Februari 2020. Diakses tanggal 13 Mei 2016. 
  6. ^ a b "Reading: Marriage and Courtship Patterns | Sociology" [Membaca: Pola Perkawinan dan Pacaran | Sosiologi]. courses.lumenlearning.com. Diakses tanggal 28 Desember 2021. 
  7. ^ a b Maurer, Elizabeth (2017), The History of Romance, National Women's History Museum  .
  8. ^ a b Maxson, J. Robin (2012). Singleness, Marriage, and the Will of God: A Comprehensive Biblical Guide (dalam bahasa English). Kesatuan, Perkawinan, dan Keinginan Tuhan: Panduan Komprehensif Al-Kitab: Harvest House Publishers. hlm. 326. ISBN 978-0-7369-4549-3. In the courtship paradigm, the prospect of marriage is broached toward the beginning of the process and romance is postponed until the couple is out in the middle of the bridge. One of the major objectives of the betrothal arrangement is to stave off romance as long as possible—until the period just before the wedding or, following the biblical pattern, after it. Proponents of courthsip and betrothal are very aware of the twitterpating effects of romance on sound judgment, so they seek a structure that delays that influence on the decision-making process as long as possible. (Dalam paradigma "pacaran", prospek perkawinan dilihat pada awal prosesnya dan percintaan ditunda sampai pasangannya berada di tengah jembatan. Salah satu objektif utama aransemen "pertunangan" adalah untuk menghindari pecintaan selama mungkin—sampai periode sebelum perkawinan atau, mengikuti pola kitab, setelahnya. Pendukung pacaran dan pertunangan sangat sadar efek percintaan terhadap pemilihan yang baik, sehingga mereka mencari sebuah struktur yang menunda pengaruhnya terhadap proses pemilihan selama mungkin.) 
  9. ^ a b Piper, John; Taylor, Justin (14 June 2005). Sex and the Supremacy of Christ [Seks dan Keagungan Kristus]. Crossway. hlm. 146. ISBN 9781433517907. 
  10. ^ a b c d Bootsma, Patricia (9 April 2015). Raising Burning Hearts: Parenting and Mentoring Next Generation Lovers of God. Membesarkan Hati yang Membakar: Mengasuh dan Menasihati Pecinta Tuhan Generasi Berikutnya: Forerunner Publishing. hlm. 81. ISBN 9781938060229. 
  11. ^ a b The Invention of Dating (Penemuan Kencan).
  12. ^ a b Cohen, L. L.; Shotland, R. L. (1996). "Timing of first sexual intercourse in a relationship: Expectations, experiences, and perceptions of others" [Waktu persetubuhan pertama dalam hubungan: Ekspektasi, pengalaman, dan persepsi orang lain]. Journal of Sex Research. 33 (4): 291–299. doi:10.1080/00224499609551846. 
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Further reading

  • Moira Weigel (2016). Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating. Farrar, Straus and Giroux. ISBN 978-0374182533. 

External links

 
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